See Tennis through your Child’s eyes.

For most of my Life I have been a teacher of Biological Sciences.


I have taught all ages both males and females from a variety of backgrounds and cultures.   Teaching Biological sciences is not coaching tennis but in both cases the parental aspirations for their child’s  accomplishments are often the same.

The child who is constantly pressurized into doing well in exams is the same as  the parents  who have high expectations on the level of tennis their daughter  or son should be achieving.

How often did it happen in college meetings with parents when they had decided that their offspring was going to university when they themselves never did?

It is the same with Tennis


Isn’t it amazing how tennis seems a lot easier to play while watching from the sidelines? But it’s just not that easy in the heat of battle.  For your child, it can be incredibly challenging to 

try and handle match challenges like nerves and frustration when they are under stress. 

Even world class performers experience these stresses..

 So if he/she does face difficulties in tennis that you cannot  understand, then as a parent  it’s 

important that you start  to see the situation through his or her eyes.

Responding With Empathy

Many parent have the best of intentions for their child. But  in their attempts to help they use their own experience because they judge the situation from their own point of view.

This can sometimes lead to miscommunications…

Try  being empathetic to your child’s difficulty  and join with him/her in seeing the situation through his/her eyes. This will mean that you will gain an understanding of his/her experience and also 

communicate to him/her that you understand his/her perspective and how they feel.



A Lack of Empathy…

Responses that lack empathy usually take a predictable course:

Parent are Unaware– In this case the parents would respond without awareness of the internal feelings of their child (embarrassment and distress).

Interpret– They would  interpret the situation through the eyes of their own experiences (frustration and confusion).

Judge– As the parents were experiencing frustration and confusion they would  judge their child’s performance as just ‘not good enough’, and possibly communicate a ‘personal flaw’ in the child’s technique

Fix– With the intention of helping their child the parents then will try to explain what their child did wrong. This is an attempt to ensure he/she does not make the same mistake again. The problem here is that the parent did not stop to consider their child’s experience. The parents don’t communicate any understanding on how the child feels. This reaction will  cause him/her to feel more difficulties regarding the outcome.

learn to show  Empathy

An empathetic response would look like this.

Aware– In this case the parents start by recognizing their own  experiences and then consider their child’s experience.

Explore–  To make sure they are on the right track they can check in with their child to discover his/her stress and embarrassment.

Understand Now that the parent can understand and  feel their child’s internal experience (rather than their own), they can let him/her know that they understand how difficult it is for him/her to lose such a close match.

Join  Rather than trying to fix the situation , these parents can join with their child in helping him/her cope with their disappointment by letting him/her know that it is normal to feel  disappointment.

What You Can Do…

Next time you notice yourself trying to help your child by fixing a difficult situation that he/she encounters,  just step back for a minute and  check to make sure you have fully considered and understand how he/she feels about the present situation.

This will allow you to collaborate with your child in a way that will strengthen your relationship and makes it more likely that he/she will listen and take on board what you have to say in the future.


Play and learn Tennis


Playing tennis is good exercise and is also lots of fun.

 You might be an actual natural at playing tennis but all of us still need some practice. Why not look at  a tennis holiday next time you go on vacation


 Many people people can vouch for how much fun a tennis holiday  is. You can experiment with your  game, you can hone your skills and you also get some exercise.  Eat all the wonderful dishes that you want and not gain any weight since you are constantly running around playing tennis.


  Nothing beats returning from a vacation with improved tennis skills plus a fitter and leaner body.

If you are only beginning to learn tennis and have decided to go on a tennis holiday then be prepared to have loads of fun.

Might be a good idea to get lessons with coaches who will teach you according to the rules of the ETA. These coaches are sure to be certified so that you know that you’re learning from certified coaches?

Even if you do not become a professional tennis player and mot of us won,t then you may at least know all the foundations and moves which are utilized by professionals.


You are on a holiday and that means you have got to enjoy yourself, so should you be on a tennis holiday then that gives you even more reason to enjoy your holiday

If you are to make an effort to do   something, then you might as well do things right

. Learn from the professionals so that you’ll get the correct coaching.

Costa del Sol is a a great place to play tennis. No matter what your level we can organise games and coaching to make your stay worthwhile

Contact Tony here